I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
