fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
