It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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