Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
