forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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