Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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