The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword