Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
