So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
