Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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