Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize