I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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