I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
