then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
