you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
