I have demons in me.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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