if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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