Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
