mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
