He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
