Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
