I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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