how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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