There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
