Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
