if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
