That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
