wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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