I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
