I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
