It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
