Christians are straight up FREAKS
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
