Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
