he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
