It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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