have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i now understand why vodka
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
