so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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