there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
