You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
