He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
