there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
