Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize