it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
