I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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