He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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