So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
