time to smoke my breakfast
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
