I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize