Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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