he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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