I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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