Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize