A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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