That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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