I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
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May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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