ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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