If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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