I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
