why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
