im drinking this country out of the recession.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
