One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
