who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
